Your Own Place (Svadhishthana)

       There is a place hidden within me that I call my own.  A place where my happiness shines with a warm, orange glow.  It is the forest of pleasure that lies at the very center of who I am; a true and unspoiled oasis of the senses.  The torrential waterfall of imagination and bubbling thoughts merge with the mountains of creativity and joy to birth my own passion and intimacy.  It is a natural sanctuary where my Atman visits to sing and dance.  But with the flowing waters of emotion come the scattered pieces of what my awareness must put to shame.  I feel with all of my perceptions, every part of my being, until I can't help but absorb the shame and guilt of societal pressures.  I know, just as much as anyone, that hidden pain and sadness never go away.  I will push myself to express my dissatisfaction's so that I can find my own truth.  In doing so, I will find my freedom.  Sometimes it's hard to find the origination point of emotional upset, but I can feel within my being that there must be a deeply hidden place that stores these sentiments.  This place within is called the Svadhishthana.  It is the absolute foundation of emotional well-being, the energy place that whispers to us about how we relate to the world while we seek the formation of our identity.  It is the place where we FEEL.  It is where we enjoy ourselves and live in the moment, to experience the fullness of life.  Svadhishthana is the heaven that we hold within, and it is easily torn away by the world around our physical bodies.  On the one hand, we have ideas that bring us joy and partners who share our physical pleasure.  On the other hand, we have cultural struggles, societal coercion, and the gross misuse of sexual energy.  The culture we live in magnifies unrealistic images of sex, while other parts of the community condemn physical pleasures.  We live in a world where feelings are not valued, where ardor and emotional reactions are frowned upon, while abusive fetishes and the denial of one's own desires are a necessary sacrifice for "happiness".  The waters between normal, healthy desires and excessive, opportunistic impulses become muddy.  We are left in confusion of our true wants, in shame of our natural responses, and with a lack of fire for anything humanly real.  This disparity is what turns my own soul place into a hell of internal pain, addiction, and emotional instability.  This is where I feel the disconnect between my body and my feelings.  I learned not to trust myself and to deny my true desires.  How can I create anything of beauty when I am disconnected from my sensual self?  I love my body.  I enjoy my body.  I will walk with bare feet.  I will envision the orange glow healing the belly of my closeness.  I will do more of exactly what makes me happy.  I will allow my energy to transform the feelings within my body, to let go, to move, to feel the winds of change.  I will have healthy boundaries.  I will feel pleasure and passion with every breath that I take.  I will nourish my body while valuing and respecting my own needs.  My sexuality is sacred and my emotions are the language of my soul.  I am at peace.
Where's your secret place?