Powerless- Step 1

       The first step to overcoming anything in life is admitting that there is a problem.  Step one of the Narcotics Anonymous program states that "we admitted we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable".  Alcoholics Anonymous has the same first step, but with the word "alcohol" in place of the word "addiction".  I feel like we can take pretty much any issue that we have in our lives and insert it there.  But unmanageable seems like a pretty strong word, in fact most people have to reach absolute rock bottom before they can see just how messed up things in their lives have gotten.  We're women, we can manage anything, right?  So, I personally like to replace the word "unmanageable" with the word "UNBALANCED".  Because people can actually become addicted to literally anything.  Drugs and alcohol are only the more obviously damaging ones.  Games, shopping, sex, church, anything can become so big that it takes dominance over our lives.  In the words of Dr. Seuss, "...remember that life's A Great Balancing Act."  I am, by no means, saying that you can have a little heroin as long as you feel that you can control it.  We're simply applying this thought to other areas of our lives.  Sometimes I can get so obsessed with the fact that I'm having trouble sleeping that I literally put myself into a teary eyed panic until I REALLY can't sleep.  The thing that we're putting in front of our faces the most becomes the most important thing to us.  I like to think that my body, spirit, and mind is composed of two equal, yet dueling, parts.  We have the yin on one side, dark, cold, sinister, and passive, and on the other side we have the bright, warm, focused, and active yang.  We are all made up of BOTH forces that complement each other.  In body we must exercise; we can't be sedentary, nor can we be overly active to the point of exhaustion.  This principle is beautiful once applied to your life, and offers a oneness of the self that people tend to forget about.  Yes, we are always working to become better people and not let our evil thoughts overcome us.  But we still have to remember that those thoughts are what make us human, and they serve a purpose.  In certain situations our bodies can respond with anxiety, adrenaline, and negative thoughts- that's normal!  We just have to decide in our higher mind whether or not our thoughts are true, and whether or not it is appropriate to act on them.  This process allows us to realize that where there's a shadow, there must be a light.  In simpler terms, everything has two halves.  Two halves make a whole.  When split apart, both halves spend eternity chasing after each other to seek balance and wholeness.  Nothing on earth is only evil or only good, there is simply imbalance.  When our lives become unbalanced we are left with feelings of anger, sadness, contempt, hopelessness, confusion, and even overconfidence.  The first step to regaining balance and control is mindful awareness.  We have to first realize that there is something wrong before we can fix it, and once we begin paying attention to those negative feelings then we can start to see where the problem is originating.  Then simply do the OPPOSITE.  I'm starting to feel anxious, so instead of going down that rabbit hole I'm going to stand still and breathe.  I'm telling myself that I'm not good enough and that I'll never be able to accomplish the task at hand, so it's time for a little self-love.  Tell yourself good things!  Imagine the absolute worst thing that can possibly happen, and then envision yourself standing through it all, strong and unharmed.  If you're starting to feel stagnant and depressed, get up and move, exercise.  Our minds are always seeking balance, even when we are unaware of it. We need to step aside and allow healing to happen.  I will leave you with this passage from the second chapter of the Tao Te Ching, while urging you to remember that we always have the power to restore balance to our own lives.
What's your first step?

"When people see things as beautiful,

ugliness is created.

When people see things as good,

evil is created.

Being and non-being produce each other.

Difficult and easy compliment each other.

Long and short define each other.

High and low oppose each other.

Fore and aft follow each other."