"Let's Talk About SEX!" with guest blogger Amanda Anderson

       I remember the first time my mom said we needed to "have a talk".  I was only about fourteen, and yet somehow I instinctively knew she meant we needed to talk about sex.  I could tell she was nervous...and that made ME nervous!  I had been reading her Cosmopolitan magazines for at least two years, so of course I thought I knew everything there was to know about sex!  I very quickly responded to my flushed mother that I didn't need to have that talk.  She only protested once and that was that!  No talk.  Ever!
       I knew my mom had sex- lots of it even, but I couldn't ever bring myself to ask her a single question.  I don't know that she could have helped me any, as I was a fast learner (lol) but I have made sure that three-letter word is a positive one in my house.  I have said the word "sex" around my three children hundreds of times, and for the most part, they barely bat an eye.  I've told them all that sex is a normal, healthy, important part of a persons life and it's important to know as much about it as you can BEFORE you ever try it.  I wasn't the type of parent who buried their head in the sand and assumed my kids wouldn't have sex until they were married.  I laugh heartily at that notion and shake my head at any parent who thinks that way.  I made sure my boys knew what sex would mean the first time they had it...not just for them, but for their partners, as well.  I told them they would have to work hard to make sex enjoyable for their female partners if they were sexually active at a young age.  I told them that was their duty as men.  Both of my boys came to me after they lost their virginity.  I know how old they were and to whom they lost it.  I feel good about that.
       Discussions about sex have been a little more difficult with my daughter.  She is a little more shy and reserved than her brothers, but I try, nonetheless.  I have told her as much as she will let me, and we have had discussions about safe sex numerous times.  My daughter knows it is her responsibility to respect her body and her life.  Supplying her brothers with condoms was a lot easier than making sure she is safe, but we have done it.  She knows how I feel about unplanned pregnancy (I don't believe there is such a thing this day and age), and she knows I am here for her if she ever wants or needs to talk.  I have given my daughter the tools she needs to be empowered and in control of her body.  I feel good about that, too.
         I have NEVER had an issue mentioning sex or talking about sex as an adult, and it always surprises me when I'm around people who do.  Recently I was speaking to my doctor and brought up something that had happened to us during sex, and I watched my grown husband blush!  I have tried to coax the reasons behind this out of him, but I truly believe that he doesn't know!  I spoke to my Spanish sister-in-law about this subject and she says Americans in general are more inhibited than Europeans.  Why is that, I wonder?  I'm sure it has to be passed along from generation to generation.  I am attempting to break that cycle in my family, at least!  And why shouldn't I?  Most people have a penis or vagina and a lot of people can't even say those words!  Most people will have sex at least once in their lifetime but have to whisper the word "sex"!  We have all of this in common but we can't talk about it.  We can remove that stigma!  Talk to your kids, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes you!  They deserve to claim ownership of their bodies and what will be their sexual lives, in my humble opinion.  Even if it is something small, empower yourself and those around you!
       -Amanda Anderson
What are your kids talking about?

"I am 44 years old and madly in love with my husband Greg and our blended family of 6 kids. Greg and I have successfully raised 5 kids into adulthood with one solitary girl left at home.  I semi-retired from the stressful automotive industry last year after a tough recovery from renal cancer, but I do work part time to keep my sanity!  I enjoy ANYTHING on the water and my husband and I spend every weekend we can on our boat.  Even when life is difficult I try to live my best life!"
-Amanda Anderson