Insomnia Driven

       I was never the type of person to just be quiet.  When I awoke in the morning I would turn on music to jam to while I got ready for the day, rushed the kids out the door to school while we chatted, and then listened to morning shows in the car on the way to work.  Work was a busy blur, then radio to pick up kids, and nothing but chatter and noise until bed time...where my exhausted brain would refuse to sleep.  As soon as my head would hit the pillow my brain would suddenly be flooded with foods that I like, songs I haven't heard in a decade, and things I felt bad about doing fifteen years ago.  At first I tried sleep meds, diffusing sleepy time essential oils, and eventually a glass of wine and four hours later I would drift off on a cloud of uneasy sleep.  You know what I recently learned?  BE QUIET.  Turn the music off while you're putting mascara on in the morning and listen to what your brain is telling you.  Drive to work in silence and watch how you suddenly notice that there are other people in the cars that pass you by.  Listen closely to the thoughts that pull at your earlobes while you're trying to rest at night, because that's where your soul is taking you.  Pay attention to the guilt feelings and allow yourself to feel them.  Maybe your heart still feels bad because you need to apologize to someone.  THAT'S OK!  It's ok to hit someone up that you haven't seen in twelve years and apologize for dating their ex-boyfriend that one time in junior high.  They may cuss you out all over again, or they may be like, "Wow, thanks for that."  Either way, you're going to sleep better.  Maybe your dread feelings are because you were hurt and you're the one who needs an apology.  THAT'S OK!  Call your mom and tell her that you've been struggling with something that she said to you last month.  She could bend over backwards apologizing because she loves you and doesn't want you to hurt, or she may defend herself and give you nothing.  In that case you need to be prepared to forgive her anyways.  Either way, you will sleep better.  Sometimes we keep reliving things because we haven't quite processed them, and sometimes we bury them for so long that we forget its there while we're awake.  I have found that if there is any emotion or thought that nags and pulls at me while I'm quiet, its because it needs my attention.  Like a child it needs to be heard, looked at, and then spoken to.  
What do you hear when its quiet?